Routine - Part One, The Morning

Okay, where was I?

After banging my head against the wall (or sometimes the floor, while curled in the fetal position) for seven months, I think we've got some semblance of a routine that keeps me from cutting myself going insane calling an adoption agency crying a lot.

Mungee wakes up between 7 and 8 a.m.  Toward the earlier end of that range if she didn't wake up somewhere between 3 and 5 a.m. and toward the latter end of that range if she did.  I should be getting up prior to her waking so I can shower, but I take advantage of every moment of shut eye I can get, even if it means I stink for a good portion of the day.

Once Mungee is starting to get frustrated that we haven't come to rescue her yet, I go in, greet her, change her diaper and then we go in the den and I nurse her, while watching a snippet of the news or one of the elevently-billion shows I DVR because I rarely watch anything at the time it actually airs.  Then Mungee gets to play while I have coffee and snarf* down breakfast (*do my best vacuum cleaner impression).

After I selfishly feed myself, I plop* Mungee into the highchair and prepare her delicious multigrain cereal spiked with bananas (*buckle her in while being ever so careful as not to pinch her fingers as she is grabbing for the straps to gnaw).  Mungee eats breakfast and then I read her a book (usually Mr. Brown Can Moo) and sing a few songs.  At this point it's about 9 a.m. and a couple different things could happen:

*I could plop* (*see above) her into the bouncy seat in the bathroom while I take a "quick" shower and then the morning nap commences (more on this in a moment).

*I can tell that she is already too tired to patiently wait out me taking a shower without quickly going into meltdown mode and so I skip the shower and therefore the morning nap commences.

Morning Nap Ritual:

1. Go to my bedroom
2. Change back into sleep-type clothes (if I was actually already dressed for human-other-than-Mungee's Pa interactions)
   
3. Hide Google phone from Mungee under covers so I can chat on The Nest, read Facebook status updates and play Solitaire once Mungee has fallen asleep
   
4. Nurse Mungee
5. Burp Mungee
6. Settle Mungee onto me laying down chest to chest
7. Endure Mungee finding and eating my bra strap
8. Endure Mungee trying to give me a hickey on my chin
9. Endure Mungee pulling on her ears and ripping at her dry skin in some weird and twisted self-soothing mechanism
10. Feel Mungee's stomach contracting just as she is about to fall asleep
    
11. Hear farts
12. Hear poo
13. Hope the poo was just a little squirt that can be changed later
14. Hear more poo
15. Proceed to get up and change diaper (and outfit if poo has leaked)
    
16. Come back to bedroom to get settled again
17. Repeat 10-16
18. Endure Mungee twisting her body around so her face lands in the crook of my elbow
19. Reposition Mungee so we are both more comfortable
    
20. Hear Mungee's breathing change from that of awake baby to that of asleep baby
21. Suppress urgent need to go to the bathroom
22. Pull out phone and commence time-wasting living vicariously through others aforementioned activities
    

Obviously this is not ideal.  Ideally, Mungee would nap in her crib, allowing me to incessantly read other mommy blogs that are way cooler than mine clean the house and prepare dinner.  But it's what works for now.

Sound crazy?  Have a baby around Mungee's age?  What's your morning routine?

Please stay tuned for Routine, Part Two - The Late Morning/Early Afternoon Depending on When the Morning Nap Started/How Late it Went