Some women just know that they will have more children after their first, regardless of the emotional, mental or physical aftermath. I am not one of those women.
However, I tend to miss at least one birth control pill a week. Is it mommy-brain? Forgetfulness? Or is my uterus sending me subliminal messages?
Just when I get to the point that I think, "Hmmm, this isn't so bad, I can do this, maybe we will have one more", my ears are pierced with the deafening, hysterical "OMG! The world is going to end if you don't put your nipple in my mouth RIGHT.NOW!" demon cry and I am overcome with anxiety and the desire to run to my midwife's office and scream "OMG! The world is going to end if you don't cut me open and tie off my tubes RIGHT.NOW!"
Yet, every so often, when I feel a gas bubble gurgling, reminding me so much of those earliest of baby flutters, for a fleeting moment, I wonder "what if ..."
How many children do you have? Do you want more? Are you "one and done" or thought you were but welcomed another (intentionally or unintentionally)? What holds you back? What moves you forward?
