We've Got One, Are We Done?

Some women just know that they will have more children after their first, regardless of the emotional, mental or physical aftermath.  I am not one of those women.

However, I tend to miss at least one birth control pill a week.  Is it mommy-brain?  Forgetfulness?  Or is my uterus sending me subliminal messages?

Just when I get to the point that I think, "Hmmm, this isn't so bad, I can do this, maybe we will have one more", my ears are pierced with the deafening, hysterical "OMG! The world is going to end if you don't put your nipple in my mouth RIGHT.NOW!" demon cry and I am overcome with anxiety and the desire to run to my midwife's office and scream "OMG! The world is going to end if you don't cut me open and tie off my tubes RIGHT.NOW!"

Yet, every so often, when I feel a gas bubble gurgling, reminding me so much of those earliest of baby flutters, for a fleeting moment, I wonder "what if ..."

How many children do you have?  Do you want more?  Are you "one and done" or thought you were but welcomed another (intentionally or unintentionally)?  What holds you back?  What moves you forward?

A Good Day

I don't think I've mentioned it here, but I have been struggling.  Physically.  Mentally.  Emotionally.  I will go into greater detail eventually.  But not right now.  Right now, I want to talk about Friday.  Friday was a good day.

DH came home from work for lunch.  I convinced him to take the rest of the afternoon off work.  We decided to take Mungee to the pool for the first time.  Luckily, our club (community center really, we're not rich or anything) has a heated indoor pool, as it was overcast.  Mungee has been fighting her afternoon nap (what's new?) so she was pretty tired, but after some crying and getting over the initial shock of being in the water, she seemed to enjoy the experience.

 

After we were done swimming, DH took Mungee into the shower to rinse off the chlorine.  He's more comfortable doing stuff like that.  I like really hot water when I shower and I am afraid I would scald her.  This is one of the reasons I wouldn't give her a bath for months, insisting that DH do it.  I didn't know the right temperature for the water.  Sorry, I digress.

We left and Mungee fell asleep in the car almost immediately upon being strapped into the carseat.  I suggested we drive around for a little while and DH asked if I wanted to go grab a beer.  We went to a local German-ish restaurant and enjoyed two-for-one happy hour beers, a giant soft pretzel and beer cheese soup served in a breadbowl.  Mungee woke up eventually and wanted to check out the bar.

We came home after our mid-afternoon snack, fed Mungee her dinner and then gave her a bath in the regular bathtub - another first.  DH said it was so much easier than trying to keep her in her duckie tub.  

Okay Mom, skip this part.  

Seriously, Mom, stop reading.

Okay.

After Mungee was asleep, DH and I had "marital relations".  I mention this because it hasn't happened very often since Mungee was born.  I'm still breastfeeding, hormones are all out of whack, and I rarely ever get the urge to canoodle (yeah, that sounds like a good word for it).  After the canoodling, I asked DH if we could now officially count on two hands the number of times we'd done it since Mungee came along.  He said no, of course.  I don't believe him.  

Our appetites raging, we then decided to fry up some lumpia a.k.a. Filipino crack eggrolls.  We were still hungry after we ate those, so we fixed bowls of cereal and chilled out on the couch.

Days like this make me feel more human.  Normal.  I look forward to more of them.

(I'll add some pictures when I'm not falling out of my chair from fatigue). ETA pictures 5-5-10.